The Festival
by SilverRockets
Summary: The much awaited school festival draws near, and the Literature Club has been working nonstop to finally show themselves to the world. Their daring plan includes a public reading of poems, cheerful smiles, decorative ribbons and a whole bunch of cupcakes. As the newest member of the club, Lori is determined to do everything in her power not to let her friends' efforts go to waste.
1. Sayori

**Sayori**

* * *

For the first time in her life Lori woke up to the sight of a cute girl next to her bed, which would've been wonderful if not for the detail that she'd gone to sleep alone the night before.

She rose from the covers with a yelp, the back of her head connecting with the frame of her bed rather violently. The world around her spun for a few moments, until the girl grabbed her arms and helped her straighten herself up. Her grip was careful and delicate, though she wasn't in the right place to appreciate that with the extreme confusion, anger and sudden pain located in different parts of her head.

"A-agh!" she yelled, rubbing her nape with tears in her eyes. "Sayori! What the hell are you doing in my room!?"

Sayori took a nervous step back, both hands still raised at her side, and formed a lopsided, awkward smile. Through her daze Lori figured that this wasn't the way she'd expected her to wake up.

"W-well… I thought it'd be nice to be the one to wake you up this time," she explained, twiddling with her fingers. "Since… you know, it's a special day and all!"

Hand still on the back of her head Lori sighed, lazily moving her legs out of the covers until her feet met the carpeted floor of her room. She looked up to the calendar next to her window; the bright red of a marker encircled the current day, under which was written the word _Festival_ , followed by a bunch of exclamation points.

She then lowered her sight to the ant table where her phone resided; it was eight thirty. A burst of panic exploded from her chest outwards, putting her hair on edge. That was barely just enough to change and get to school in time.

Of course the piece of shit would not let the alarm work, and in the day of the festival no less. She shuddered to think of what Natsuki would've done to her if she arrived late… they'd probably be scraping her remains off the floor and walls for the upcoming weeks.

Trying to hide her relief she turned towards Sayori, and frowned.

"I've never gone into your room to wake you up, though," she said. "I just knock on your door like a civilized person. What if I slept naked?"

She regretted her words the moment they came out of her mouth, accompanied by the almost imperceptible flush of her cheeks. The last thing she wanted to think about right now was that kind of scenario. Especially with how faint the line between friendship and… something else, had been recently in her life.

"Oh come on Lori! I gifted you that pajama you're wearing, didn't I?" Sayori smiled, apparently not bothered at all. "I knew you'd use it all the time!"

"Don't… say weird things like that." Lori whispered, looking away

With tremendous effort she started walking around the room, looking for the scattered parts of her school uniform around the disaster that was her room. It wasn't nearly as bad as Sayori's, but she didn't have the excuse of…

Her hand stopped over the white shirt hanging on a nearby chair, hovering as the sour thought invaded her mind.

 _Great job forgetting about that. What a great friend you are._

The sarcastic voice echoed in her mind, sending shivers through her skin. She bit her lip and took in a deep breath, turning towards Sayori as subtly as she could.

The fact that she'd gotten up early for once was a good sign, though that could've been just a result of her excitement for the festival. Still, it was a huge step for her, and judging by the sad frown she was desperately trying to conceal Lori figured she'd done a bad job of acknowledging that.

Not only that, but she looked spiffier than usual. Her short brown hair wasn't sticking up everywhere like usual, and that along with the careful placement of her red bow told Lori that she'd put a lot of effort into brushing it that morning. Her clothes even looked ironed, and while she hadn't buttoned her blazer up (as usual), at least she kept it clean and dashing.

 _Come on, don't be a jerk. She deserves this._

Sighing to herself she approached Sayori, gently placing a hand on her shoulders. She tried her best to form a soothing smile through the thick clouds of _sleepy_ still pestering her barely awaken mind.

"Hey, I never said I didn't like it. I'm proud of you," she said. "Besides, thanks to that scare I feel more awake than usual."

Sayori looked up for a moment, her thin lips curling up and her eyes flashing Lori a wordless _thank you_. Straightening up she cleared her throat, placing both hands on her hips.

"Alright, let's get ready for the festival then!" she smiled brightly, voice booming. "We shouldn't let the others waiting, and if we arrive late there won't be any cupcakes left for us!"

"Now that would be a tragedy."

Lori went to her desk and grabbed the blazer and skirt on top of it, still feeling her friend's eyes on her back. Gulping, she turned around towards her once again, her words somewhat stuck under her throat.

"Uh… Sayori?"

"Yeah? What is it?" she asked, perking up her nose.

"I kinda have to change, so…"

She gestured with her eyes to the door, and it took her friend a few seconds for realization to set in, after which her eyes went wide and a strong blush appeared on her cheeks.

"R-right! Right…"


	2. Natsuki

**Natsuki**

* * *

 **Check out end of chapter notes for warnings.**

* * *

The school festival had already begun by the time they made it there.

As they approached the school grounds the air carried with it not only the incessant sounds of jubilee but the smell of fried, processed food and sweets as well. Laughs and screams could be heard from a street away, accompanied by the thin lines of colored smoke rising from behind the walls leading towards the courtyard, representing the school colors.

Lori gulped as they waited for the street to be clear.

"You've never been to one of these, have you?" Sayori asked at her side, gripping tightly to the straps of her backpack. "You reclusive NEET."

She rubbed the back of her neck, forming an awkward smile, "Hey, I had perfectly valid reasons not to come. Besides, you're the last person who should be getting on my case about not going to school."

"It's not fun to tease you," she pouted. "You always know how to shut me down."

They made their way towards the entrance, where a bored looking student checked they were indeed part of the school and stamped the back of their palms. It reminded Lori of those restaurants where they did the same to kids so they wouldn't run away from their parents. The thought made her laugh under her breath.

As they turned the corner around the main lobby they finally saw the festival, and she had to admit that she'd never seen the courtyard so… claustrophobic, would've been a good way of putting it. Half of it was covered in lines of stands with canopies on top, either selling food or advertising for a certain club. A sea of students and teachers flooded the empty space between them, walking in closed out groups while they laughed and held everything from bags of food to cotton candy.

"Hey! Over here!"

Their eyes fell on one of the nearby stands, from behind which a short girl was energetically waving at them, eyebrows furrowed in a mix of frustration and excitement. The messy nest of bright, pink hair, along with the two pigtails at the side of her head let Lori know she was Natsuki.

Sayori waved back and walked towards them, while Lori froze for a moment, a sudden jump behind her chest making her shiver. She took a deep breath before following her friend.

Their stand was, surprisingly, nicer looking than most she'd seen so far. Both the table and canopy had been cleaned thoroughly and the ornate sign hanging from the two poles at its side declared beautifully that this was the Literature Club's turf. She noticed Monika behind the table, organizing the stacks of pamphlets while Yuri sat in a nearby chair, reading a book with unshakeable concentration.

"You two are late!" declared Natsuki, crashing her palms against the table strongly enough to make the pile of pamphlets shake, which earned her a scowl from Monika. "Did you doze off again, Sayori?"

Sayori was taken aback by the force behind the girl's voice, and for a moment she looked ashamed, being used to such scolding for her lateness. Lori sighed, and put a hand on her friend's shoulder before speaking.

"Sorry, this one's on me," she said. "Sayori actually woke up first for once, and if it weren't for her I would've been even more late."

Natsuki's eyes went wide, as if she couldn't believe such a thing. Monika, on the other hand, stood up straight and smiled brightly, as she usually did, while putting both hands on her hips.

"That's fantastic to hear!" she declared, raising one finger as if she were a teacher. "Let's mark this as a great start for today's endeavor, now that the whole club is here."

"Well… if you say so," Natsuki crossed her arms, scowling. "I'll be investigating whether what you said is true or not later!"

She and Sayori stuck out their tongues at each other, as they'd done countless times before. Lori made her way to the inside of the stand and greeted Yuri, who for the first time raised her eyes from the thick tome in her hands. She'd always been fascinated by the way her breathing suddenly spiked and her shoulders tensed up whenever she was taken out of the act of reading.

"Ah… Lori, I'm sorry," she lowered the book to her lap, looking down. "I was… too engrossed in the story, and I didn't hear you come in. I should... I should pay more attention."

She waved it off with a movement of her hand, "Hey, it's fine. I'm guessing we're still on schedule?" she asked, turning her head to Monika.

"We are, thankfully," she nodded. "We still have an hour before we do the public reading of poems, and we haven't even brought the cupcakes yet!"

Sayori let out a sound halfway between a gasp and the dying sound of a chinchilla.

"Huh!? Why aren't the cupcakes here yet?" she seemed genuinely horrified. "I'm hungry! I skipped breakfast so I could be here in time!"

"Uh…" Yuri slowly raised her hand, as she tended to do before joining a conversation. "Sayori, you do remember that they are not for us to eat, right? They're for the rest of the students."

"Oh…" she let her shoulders drop. "And I left my wallet back home…" she mentioned, looking wistfully at Lori.

She sighed, "Sayori…"

"Pleeeease!" she clasped her hands together. "Can you buy me something just this once? I promise I'll pay up!"

 _Now that's a damn lie_ , Lori though to herself. Still, she figured it would be an appropriate reward considering how hard she'd been trying lately. She'd brought extra money that day because she knew this would happen, after all.

"Fine…"

Her response was met by an aggressive hug that almost toppled her to the ground, as Sayori whispered her thanks as if Lori had saved her life or something. Behind her Natsuki frowned, arms still crossed.

"You should get her the spiciest food you can find," she offered. "That way she can learn responsibility for her actions."

Sayori turned around, still hugging Lori, "That's mean, Natsuki!"

"I agree," Yuri nodded. "Lori would never do such a thing…"

"Oh no, I absolutely would."

The hug from Sayori was immediately replaced by a weak punch, while Natsuki's giggle sounded behind her. She covered herself with her arms and assured her friend that she'd been… mostly kidding.

The commotion was interrupted by the solemn sound of Monika clapping her palms, which got everyone's attention. Once she did she raised her chin and began to speak with that serious yet gentle tone of hers.

"Now now, we wouldn't want to cause a ruckus for the rest of the students to see, would we?" She wiggled her finger at them. "Lori, since you're going to buy food anyway, would you mind accompanying Natsuki to retrieve the cupcakes from the schools' fridge? I've been thinking of a good time to present them, and I believe this might be it. If we can get enough people to come around while they're hungry there will be a higher chance of them coming back for the poem reading later."

As always, whenever Monika spoke everyone turned towards her and listened patiently, even Natsuki. Just from her voice and posture alone anyone could've deduced she was the president of the club, especially considering the social mess that were the rest of the members, Lori included.

"Wow, you had everything figured out so well?" Sayori whispered, impressed. "That's our club president for you!"

"Please, it's nothing," she waved it off. "I'm just trying my best. Now, Natsuki, I hope you don't mind going to retrieve the cupcakes with Lori?"

The pink haired dynamo was taken aback by being asked directly, and by the rest of her friends staring at her at the same time. Hurriedly she looked to the side and stomped her feet.

"Y-yeah, I guess…" she whispered barely loud enough for them to hear. "We did bake them together, so we should bring them together too. It's not a big deal or anything."

* * *

As Lori bit down on the spicy meatball, now holding only an empty toothpick, a single thought came to mind.

"We are so going to get in trouble for this."

On the bench next to her Natsuki chomped down on a big piece of fried squid, the corners of her lips curving up in delight. At her lap sat the four sealed trays full of cupcakes, neatly stacked on top of each other. The ones in the top were glazed pink, and small pieces of chocolate formed the mouth, eyes and ears of a smiling kitty.

"Don't be such a wet blanket!" Natsuki leaned back into the bench, breathing in as she closed her eyes. She hadn't seen her so relaxed in a long time. "What Monika doesn't know won't hurt her."

"I'm pretty sure Monika will notice us not coming back for like twenty minutes. They're gonna think we got lost or something."

"Pfft, like they'd worry so much," she swatted at the air with a confident smile. "Monika's smart, she's gonna know we're just having a snack together. I mean, what else could we possibly be doing alone during th–"

She froze, a piece of squid still hanging from the toothpick in front of her. First her eyes widened slightly, followed by her lower lip trembling and a deep blush as realization hit her with the force of a hammer.

Lori had experienced her fair share of situations like these, and knew that she should protect herself immediately. She barely raised her arms to the side before Natsuki's fist collided against her bicep, strongly enough to make her yelp.

"Y-you… you pervert!" Natsuki exploded, her voice turning high pitched as she fulminated her with her eyes. "You made me think of… of that!"

Lori tried to defend herself through the crack between her arms, "I didn't do anything! You thought of that first!"

"Shut up! You set me up again!" Natsuki kept pounding Lori's arm with her fist, though not as strongly and trying to stifle a smile. "You're a huge pervert!"

Their fisticuffs died down once they couldn't contain their laughter, since they had to make sure they wouldn't involuntarily topple their bags of food to the ground, or even worse the trays of cupcakes.

She would never admit it out loud in fear of retribution, but she loved seeing Natsuki laugh. Something about the way her cheeks puffed and she failed to contain her snorts as she put one hand over her stomach… that coupled with the fact she was out of her uniform for once and wearing a white and pink blouse top, Lori just couldn't help but be dazzled by how cute she was.

She was glad her own laughing would mask the real reason for her tinted cheeks.

"Come on now, we should really go back," said Lori after regaining her composure. "I don't know about you but the last thing I want to see is an angry Monika."

"Huh… that's a good point, actually." Natsuki bit her finger contemplatively. "Okay, just let me finish eating my…"

If Lori had to ever describe what being heartbroken looked like, she'd have to go with the face Natsuki made once she realized there was no more fried squid in her bag. She scrunched up her nose and let her shoulders fall, as a low rumble was heard from the pit of her stomach.

Maybe in the past Lori would've teased her about it, but ever since Monika had told her about Natsuki's living situation…

"Here, you can have some of mine."

She extended the arm holding the bag of meatballs, showing her a smile that up until that point had been reserved only for Sayori.

"I…" Natsuki frowned, and she couldn't quite tell if she was confused or angry. "It's okay, I don't want it."

There was a sudden change in her voice. All levity was gone from it, and judging by the look in her eyes Lori understood she was walking on thin ice.

"I'm really not hungry," she said. "Seriously, you can hav–"

"I said I don't want it!"

The sudden scream startled Lori, who almost jumped back at the force and anger behind it. Natsuki had turned completely towards her, and her tiny hands were strongly curled into fists. A few students around them looked at them funny, though she barely noticed them.

They stared at each other in stunned silence for a few seconds, until Natsuki bit her lip and looked away, her eyes so squinted he could barely make out the fact she was starting to tear up. To say she panicked would've been putting it lightly; after the past few weeks she'd developed a fear of her friends crying, which usually led up to something worse.

"I'm… sorry," she muttered, her own expression betraying just how out of her depth she was.

But Natsuki didn't yell or punch or stared angrily at her. She simply sighed, still looking to the side, and sat quiet for moments that stretched into almost a minute.

"When did she tell you?"

"W-who?" she asked, feeling the metaphorical ice under her start to crack. "Tell me what?"

"Come on…" Natsuki sighed, fingers interlacing each other over the sealed trays of cupcakes. "You don't have to lie to me like the rest. I know Monika told you about…"

She choked up on what she wanted to say, words stuck behind her beating heart. Shyly, afraid to come out. Looking at her with her head down like that, Natsuki looked smaller than ever.

"About my dad," she said, finally. "And that… he doesn't…"

She didn't need to elaborate further; Lori knew exactly what she meant. That day when she all but collapsed next to her while they were reading together, Monika gave the girl a protein bar and hurried Lori aside to explain what was wrong. Apparently Natsuki's father didn't leave much food at home, and he didn't give her daughter money to buy anything in school either, so she was pretty much constantly hungry and malnourished.

With that memory coming back to her, Lori couldn't help but feel horrible. She'd been so obsessed with trying to help Sayori out of her depression that she'd forgotten that she had other friends who might needed her help as well.

"I didn't mean to make it seem like I was lying to you," said Lori. "Sorry if it looked that way."

Her friend still refused to look at her, and Lori recognized the danger sigh of her eyebrows furrowing immediately.

"So it was Monika who told you," she whispered angrily. "Should've figured. She's so… ugh!"

It wasn't uncommon for her to lash out at her fellow club members like that, but something about the genuine and deep anger behind her words startled Lori.

"I'm sure she's just worried about you…"

She regretted saying that as soon as Natsuki's eyes fell on her.

"Oh, is she now!?" she yelled , curling her fingers into fists. "Tell me, did she look like she was worried at all, or did she just tell you like she was sharing a fun fact about me!? All she did was come over and give me a… protein bar, like I'm some sort of dog! She doesn't care at all!"

"C-come on, that's not true," Lori tried to reason, her voice wavering.

"Haven't you noticed yet!? She knows what's wrong with all of us but wants to pretend nothing bad ever happens!" Natsuki didn't care anymore that she was yelling, nor that a few people had turned to look at them. "Oh yeah, I _just_ have an awful dad. Sayori _just_ has really bad depression. Yuri _just_ cuts herself! She doesn't want to draw attention to it too much because then she might have to do something or help us or…!"

She choked up on something halfway between a growl and a sob, and looked down at the plate of cupcakes in her lap. Her face scrunched up and she grabbed them by the side, arms shaking.

"Maybe… maybe I should just throw these in the garbage," she whispered. "That'd teach her. I'm sure she'll care more about that than her friends!"

"H-hey, stop!"

She lunged to the side, putting both arms on Natsuki's shoulder. At first she struggled meekly, but after a few seconds she gave up and simply hung her head and let herself fall against the bench.

They stayed like that for a while, and Lori tried her best to come up with something to say, anything that might make her friend feel better. She knew how much she'd been looking forward to the festival, and the thought that she might've accidentally ruined it for her… it's not something she wanted to live with.

"Look, I get where you're coming from. Monika can be very… intentionally obtuse," she said, trying to come up with the best way to put it. "But I don't think she does it out of malice. She probably just… knows how much the club means to all of us, and wants to make it a place where we can come and forget about our problems for a while."

The more she spoke the more she realized she knew exactly how Monika felt, and she herself felt stupid for not having realized that sooner.

"I think… she also feels powerless," she said almost to no one. "With how much pressure her parents put on her, and with so many people wanting to talk to her in school… she must really love the Literature club and thinks it's the only place where she can be herself. I think that's why…"

She left the thought hanging, not knowing exactly how to finish it. After a few moments she let go of Natsuki's shoulder, and the girl didn't move or seemed to notice. She was simply looking down, eyes lost someplace else.

"I… I know," she said after what felt like an eternity. "I know all that. I just… wanted to say something, I guess. I didn't mean to…"

"I know, it's okay," Lori reassured her with a smile. "And you weren't entirely wrong. We can have a talk with her once the festival is over."

For the first time in minutes Natsuki smiled as well, and Lori realized just how much she'd missed that. It was a faint smile, one that could've been extinguished by a gust of wind, but she treasured it nonetheless.

Natsuki pointed at the bag of food next to her, "Do you really don't mind if I…"

"Go ahead."

With more than her fair share of doubt she grabbed the bag and started eating, and moments after color returned to her face. She kept at it for a while, until the whole thing was empty and she let out a deep sigh.

"Thanks…" she said with her mouth still somewhat full. "I mean it."

Lori shrugged, "No problem, you deserve them after doing such a great job with the cupcakes."

She looked down at them, "We should… probably bring them back, huh."

They exchanged an amused look and shared a weak laugh while they got up from the benches. Lori offered to carry some of the trays for her, and together they began walking towards their clubs' stand.

A somewhat awkward silence still pestered the air around them, making it clear that one of them still had something to say. Lori figured she was the one, considering the way her heart painfully beat behind her ribcage. She sighed to the side and tried her best to let the words out.

"Look… if you ever…" she began speaking, almost muttering. "If you ever want another place that's as safe as the club, you're free to come to my house. I'm not trying to be weird or anything." She was quick to add. "Just… know that I'm there if you need me, and I'll always have snacks ready for you."

Natsuki was clearly taken aback by her words, judging by the way her mouth hung open and she blushed a similar color to that of her hair. Lori thought that she'd insult her or punch her or call her a pervert, but she simply laughed and looked down, embarrassed.

"Jeez, Lori…" she said, low enough for only her to hear. "You shouldn't say those kinds of things to a girl unless you really like her."

Lori smiled back, and said something that surprised even her.

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

 **Trigger warnings: Past/Referenced Abuse. Past/Referenced Self Harm**


	3. Yuri

**Yuri**

* * *

 **Check out end of chapter notes for warnings.**

* * *

Lori and Natsuki returned with their cheeks the color of a strawberry, though thankfully only Monika seemed to notice this. She welcomed them back and, when no one else was looking, winked at them.

As the cupcakes flew off the trays and their stand was filled more and more with enthusiastic (and hungry) students, Lori had to consider the possibility that Natsuki might've put something addictive into them. Either that or she was _that_ good at baking. Every time someone bit into the unsuspecting faces of the icing kitties their fingers would slightly curl, their shoulders would raise and they'd let a small yelp of joy.

She didn't get it. Maybe it was because she'd never been into baked sweets as much as the saltier stuff or ice cream. Not that she'd ever mention that to Natsuki; she wasn't keen on signing her death sentence quite so early in her life.

"Remember to come back for the poem reading at eleven!" Monika waved cheerfully as a group of four students walked away with pamphlets in their hands.

After making sure the coast was clear and no more people were coming towards them, Natsuki let out a defeated sigh and let herself fall on a nearby chair. Lori followed her example, her own feet loudly complaining and her stomach growling. They've been offering cupcakes for a while now, while Monika explained to them what they'd do later and Sayori handled pamphlets outside with an enthusiasm she hadn't seen in her in months.

Yuri, who until now had been hiding her face behind a book, perked up her nose and stared at them fearfully.

"Are they gone now?" she asked in a hurried tone.

"Yes, I believe we'll have a bit of peace for now," said Monika with a quick smile.

They all sighed in relief at that, as if they were waiting for confirmation from their club leader. Strangely, Monika didn't seem tired at all. She was beaming as usual, her composure as relaxed as if she were enjoying a summer picnic.

"I'm… so tired…" Sayori's voice was heard as she entered the stand once more. "I need more food…"

And with that she threw herself on Lori's lap, who almost jumped at the feeling of a hundred and twenty pounds falling on her. She felt a pair of angry eyes staring at the back of her head.

"I think I'll rest here for a while," said Sayori, closing her eyes.

"No you won't," Lori replied, though she made no attempt to get her off her lap. "I'm tired too, you know. My feet are killing me."

Natsuki scoffed, "That's because you're a NEET who never goes outside!" There was a hint of sharpness in her voice, and Lori had a guess as to why. "If anyone deserves to rest that's me."

Lori didn't argue, not because she agreed but because she knew that talking back to an already angry Natsuki was a recipe for disaster, one that she'd prepared to perfection many times before. The final product tended to be a well done knuckle sandwich.

"Ehem."

Monika put a hand in front of her mouth and coughed, and as faint as the sound was everyone looked up at her. Her eyes were closed, and one of her hands was hidden behind her back, which was as straight as a plank. From experience alone they recognized that particular posture; it was the one she used when she wanted everyone to listen carefully.

"Now now, we don't have much time for resting," she waggled her finger once more. "It's twenty minutes until eleven, and we all know what that means."

A pit formed on Lori's stomach. With panic she looked down at the clock on her phone and her shoulders tensed up. Both Sayori and Natsuki shared her alarmed expression, the former jumping up from her lap as if someone had electrocuted her.

"Come on now, you all knew this would happen," Monika raised an eyebrow. "I think it would be a good idea to practice a bit before…"

A weak thump interrupted her, coming from where Yuri was sitting at the back of the stand. Her book had fallen to the ground, and her eyes were so wide open one could've confused her with an owl.

"Oh… oh no…" her hands went to her chest, as if she wanted to rip it open. "I-I forgot to practice last night!"

Even Monika was slightly taken aback by her statement, and for a single second the shadow of doubt and panic flashed across her eyes. She recovered quickly, however, and formed a soothing smile they'd all seen plenty of times before.

"That's even more incentive to practice now, isn't it? We've all seen what you're capable of, Yuri, and I'm sure you'll give a wonderful spectacle today."

"Yeah! You better give it your best, we all know you're a pro anyway!" said Natsuki, crossing her arms.

Yuri gulped, looking all around her for any way out of this situation. It seemed she couldn't find any, because she slowly nodded after a few seconds.

"A-alright then."

They each grabbed one pamphlet and turned it to the page where the poems they'd chosen were written. Lori's was the first; it was something she'd found online that she'd quite liked and figured would be easy enough to recite. It wasn't overly metaphorical like people would surely expect; but it was good at using simple words and language to convey certain feelings that were relatable to most people.

At first her voice waved a bit, having four cute girls staring directly at her while she tried to read the poem out loud, but soon she managed to block that and delivered the rest of it with only one small mistake in pronunciation. Next was Sayori, who read her poem with a bubbly voice and a cheerful attitude. It was a bittersweet story about a dog and a cat who learned to live together.

Third was Natsuki. At first she stomped her feet on the ground because she didn't want them to look at her. But, once she got past the initial shyness she was able to deliver on her short and simple poem. Incidentally, it ended up being Lori's favorite out of the lot.

Fourth was Yuri, and that's when the problems started. It didn't matter how silent they stood, how much time they gave her to prepare. Every time it seemed like she was getting the hang of it she would look towards the festival and the groups of students, and freeze. At one point her stammering had gotten so bad that Lori could make out one or two words out of the dozens she said.

"Yuri, do you want to rest for a moment?" asked Monika, aware that this was going nowhere. "You can get some fresh air if you want and try in a few minutes. We should have enough time for you to try again before the event starts."

Yuri looked at her as if she'd been thrown a lifesaver, and energetically she nodded as she took a step back.

"Yes, I will…" she whispered, cheeks turning red. "I'll go get some air. I'll be back!"

She stormed off through the back entrance before they could say anything else.

Something cold and bothersome started to run through Lori's veins, and as she exchanged a grim look with Natsuki she figured she wasn't the only one who felt that way. She'd noticed how Yuri's hand had unconsciously gone to the pocket of her skirt as she walked away.

"We should…" Natsuki whispered, leaning into her.

"I'll go," Lori nodded. "You help out Monika with the preparations."

* * *

She found Yuri hiding behind a lamppost in between two of the stands. It was probably one of the most desolate places in the whole festival, one where it would be difficult for anyone to run into her.

That knowledge sent a cold shiver down Lori's spine. She hurried her step and revealed herself to Yuri, who yelped loudly at her sudden appearance. Her hand moved quickly, almost too fast for her to follow, but just before it hid once more in the folds of her blazer Lori noticed a small, metallic flash of light. She frowned.

"L-Lori! What are you…" Yuri struggled to speak, hurriedly rolling down her sleeve. "I… I was just…"

But it was clear no amount of thinking would land her on a plausible excuse. She stammered some more, her hands pressing against each over in front of her chest as if she wanted to make herself smaller. Lori knew she needed to act fast, before Yuri shut herself down, as she sometimes did.

"I just… wanted to know if you needed any help," she said, only half lying. "I saw that you had trouble with reading the poem out loud, and I thought I could help you out with that."

Yuri gave her a strange look, part of it was tinted with doubt as if she didn't believe her. The other half looked like a non verbal thanks for not pressing on what she'd found her doing to herself.

"Thank you, Lori. You're exceptionally kind, as always," Yuri smiled sadly to herself. "But… it's okay, I don't think I'll be needing your help."

"Are you sure? We can practice together if you…"

Yuri spoke over her, "I don't think I'll read the poem!"

There were a few seconds of silence, where Lori thought she'd heard her wrong.

"What? But… Yuri, you're joking," she formed a lopsided smile. "Why don't you want to read it? I've seen you do it before…"

"Not in front of so many people!" She finally locked eyes with her, voice raising in pitch. "I don't know… you've seen me back there, Lori. I'm useless when I'm not around you all. I couldn't even talk to one of the students that came to our stand! My heart… it was pounding so much!"

Lori, unfortunately, knew this to be true. Not once had Yuri dared to look up from her book whenever someone approached to talk to them.

"That doesn't mean you can't do it," she argued. "It's like when we started the club! After a while you started to talk to us more."

Yuri shook her head a bit too violently, looking down at the floor, "It's not the same. That took me a long time, and besides! I'm… I've been useless," she almost choked on the words. "I haven't done anything, while you were all there working hard! I should be ashamed..."

Her strategy wasn't working; Yuri seemed even more resolute on wanting the ground beneath her to open up and swallow her. She needed to do something.

"You're not useless. You're the one who made the decorations all on your own," she put a tentative hand on the girl's shoulder. She recoiled at first, but after a moment let her do it. "They're amazing, and I'm sure they're the reason half the students came in to our stand before they even saw Natsuki's cupcakes."

Lori wasn't a fan of slightly dragging her girlfriend through the mud, but she needed to raise Yuri's spirits somehow. She'd make it up to her later.

"You've worked really hard on them, and you've also worked hard to make the club a nicer place for everyone," she kept speaking. "No one makes a nicer cup of tea or a fancier poem than you, Yuri."

Yuri slowly looked up, her cheeks painted a deep red, though she didn't know whether that was from embarrassment or something else. Her fingers kept fidgeting with each other in front of her chest, and she was speechless for a moment.

"I… suppose I could try," she whispered, so low Lori barely heard it.

"Look, we're not gonna make you do something you don't want," she assured her."We'll go first, and if you want to join in then that's wonderful, and if you don't that's okay too. Alright?"

Recovering the color of her face, Yuri nodded weakly once, and then a bit more energetically. Her arms went down to the sides of her body, and she slightly raised her chin up.

"I'll… do my best. Thank you."

* * *

Unfortunately their little chat seemed to extend past what was prudent, as they found out once they came back. Yuri almost jumped backwards like a startled cat when she saw the dozens of students in front of their stand, holding pamphlets and staring at the person speaking inside.

Said person was Sayori, who had decided to start reading her poem once she realized Lori wouldn't be coming back soon. Even though her voice was as sweet and cheerful as usual, it became ten times more pronounced once she saw the both of them come back.

"Has… has it started already?" Yuri whispered, grabbing onto the back of Lori's blazer.

"Ah, there you two are," Monika subtly took a step towards them, talking high enough for only them to hear. "I'm sorry, but we had to start without you. I hope you'll be ready when your turn comes!"

For the first time since they'd known each other Lori wanted to give Monika a small smack on the side of the head. Couldn't she see that Yuri was frightened out of her mind? Didn't she realize the effect her words had on those around her?

She didn't have much time to think about this because Sayori finished at that moment, and the sudden stop of her voice was soon followed by a few claps and cheers. Her opening had been a strong one, but they would need something a bit more impressive and decisive to convince the students to take their club seriously.

Sayori brushed past her and squeezed her arm gently. She nodded stiffly, walking towards the front and picking up her pamphlet. As much as the sight of so many people intimidated her, she needed to show up strong and recover Yuri's confidence.

She was able to get through most of it with clarity and a serious tone, though she doubted she'd done any better than Sayori. Only Natsuki was next before…

She gulped, and as she walked back she heard more claps, this time a bit more enthusiastic than before. Their audience had almost doubled since they'd come back.

"That was wonderful!" Monika clapped as well, raising her voice so everyone could hear her. "Now onto our next member; Natsuki, would you mind…"

She stopped talking, hands hovering near each other mid-clap. Since Lori was behind her she didn't notice the way Monika's lips slightly parted and her eyes widened, set on one of the students within the crowd.

"So this is your little club, eh Monika?"

They all turned towards the person who'd just talked. She was one of the taller students, black hair tied into a black ponytail and arms crossed as tightly as sailor knots. She was smiling, though her eyes didn't reflect that at all.

"A-ah… Valeria," Monika whispered, her voice wavering slightly before she caught herself. "It's very nice to see you. Are you here for the poem readings? We were just in the middle of them."

An uncomfortable silence spread through the stand as both member and spectators stared at the two girls, who hadn't taken their eyes off each other. Lori had the suspicion she'd heard the girl's name before, somewhere.

"I just wanted to see what you dumped the Debate Club for," Valeria said, smirking as her eyes went from one member to another. "Is this it? I would've expected you to have more members by now."

A spark of anger flashed behind Monika's eyes. The rest of them were still too confused to react, though Natsuki's sudden frown was a sign of danger.

"Yes well, we are a new club after all. It is only normal that we don't have many members yet," Monika replied, her tone courteous. "That's why we were reading poems, in fact, to perhaps attract more people to join us. Now, if you'd kindly let us continue with that…"

"Well it's not like you have much great material ready on the go," scoffed Valeria, clearly ignoring her. "Maybe you should've taught your members some oratory skills before you forced them to perform for the rest of the school. Then again…" she formed a tiny smirk, "…those banners and cupcakes were quite nice, so at least you're managing your resources wisely where they count."

A collective gasp was heard around, followed by a few laughs from the students around her. Yuri put a hand over her chest, eyes widened in shock.

"How dare you…" she whispered under her breath.

Unfortunately she didn't get the chance to say much more, as Natsuki stomped the ground as she stepped forward, her ears redder than her ribbons and hands curled into fists.

"Oh yeah!? You liked my cupcakes!?" she yelled. "Well how about I shove one of them up your-!"

Sayori grabbed her from behind, barely stopping her from speaking anymore. She was struggling to keep her at bay, "Natsuki! You shouldn't…"

"Please, let's all calm down. There is no need to throw insults around," Monika extended one arm to the side, her lower lip shaking almost imperceptibly, "Valeria, I believe you should go. We're here to have fun, not to cause a scene."

That, however, didn't seem to be the sentiment of the students staring at them. Lori recognized the gleam in their eyes, and knew they were far too interested in whatever would happen next between the two club presidents.

"Not cause a scene? How curious, that didn't seem like the case when you got mad at us because we didn't want you to leave the club," she narrowed her eyes, voice full of bitterness. "And all so you could found… whatever this is. Do you seriously think anyone's gonna care about a club dedicated to literature? What could you do besides read books and poems all day? Or is it that you just wanted to get away from everyone?"

Those words seemed to startle Monika, who finally took a step back and opened her mouth, though she didn't find the words to reply. At this point Natsuki had almost broke free from Sayori's hold, and must've been ready to punch Valeria in the face. Lori could relate to the sentiment.

That's why it was such a surprise when Yuri of all people spoke first.

"Excuse me!?"

Before she realized Yuri had stepped in front of her, and was now staring down Valeria with a look that even made Lori's blood run cold. All eyes turned towards her, and for a moment their weight seemed to crush whatever spark of anger Yuri had gathered.

But she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again. This time there was no doubt behind them.

"You think a club about literature is a useless endeavor?" she asked, her voice higher pitched than usual. "You clearly know nothing about the subject!"

Another round of gasps, and for a moment Valeria actually seemed startled. Monika was as well, who gently put a hand on Yuri's shoulder.

"Yuri… you don't have to…"

Valeria interrupted her, "Oh, and are you one to talk? You've been hiding behind that book of yours all morning; what use is that for you if you can't even speak to people?"

Yuri looked as if she'd been slapped in the face, but she only wavered for a moment. Decisively she took a step forward and grabbed one of the pamphlets from the table, turning the pages towards her poem without even looking at it.

"Literature is one of the greatest gifts humanity has!" she declared. "Words are powerful, malleable and ever changing. They have the power to light fires inside the souls of people. They can mend deep wounds and also hurt without repair, they can sway the minds of anyone who listens to them! And it is our task, the task of the Literature Club, to study and create pieces of writing that will reflect on this fact!"

She breathed in, and the silence that ensued was so tense it could've been cut with a knife. It wasn't only Valeria that was momentarily stunned by what she'd just heard, but all the students and Yuri's friends as well. Even Natsuki seemed to momentarily forget about her own rage, and was now staring at her with a mix of awe and pride.

Valeria, after slightly recovering, opened her mouth to reply, but Yuri interrupted her.

"I believe you'll want an example of what I mean?" she scathingly said. "Very well."

Her scorching eyes went from the girl to the pamphlet in her hands, and she began to read.

It was as if someone had casted a spell, as if Yuri's voice alone could attract people's attention better than Monika's ever did. With all eyes on her, Yuri recited her own poem without missing a single beat.

Every sentence was the exact length it needed to be, every word was spoken carefully, the sounds behind them crafted by Yuri's lips and thrown forward with a potency they'd only seen a glimpse of before in their friend. As it had happened only once before, all semblance of the shy girl had disappeared, replaced now with the burning passion behind the chest of the one speaking before them.

When she finished her poem it was as if Lori had been yanked from a deep spell, and it took her a few seconds to realize it was over. No one else spoke, for they seemed to be similarly stunned.

Yuri, who's embers of confidence were about to run out, raised the pamphlet to her chest and closed it strongly, placing on the table in front of her. She took one last look at Valeria, who was looking as pale as marble, and delivered her final words:

"I hope that was a satisfying enough demonstration for you," she said, bowing ever so slightly. "I'm willing to teach you more, should you want to join our club, but for now I'd appreciate it if you let us continue with our event. Thank you, and have a good day."

Without saying another word Yuri turned around and walked towards the back exit of the stand, leaving behind about forty dazzled students and one furious one.

Her confidence evaporated the moment she closed the curtains behind her, and she remained a shaking, anxious mess for the rest of the day, though at least a one that, deep down, was quite satisfied with herself.

* * *

 **Trigger warnings: Referenced Self harm.**


	4. Not Just Monika

**Not Just Monika**

* * *

For a few hours during the festival, for the first time in her short life, Monika almost forgot the truth about her world.

It had all been so perfect until then. The poem reading attracted a lot more people than she expected, and they even got a few candidates for new club members for the future. It seemed that her choice to let herself come back, to reset the world and try once more… it was beginning to pay off, finally.

At least until time froze. She should've seen it coming, she'd experienced it a million times before. The rest of the club was walking alongside her to her own house, where they decided they would have some food and celebrate their success at the festival. Yuri had opened her mouth to say something, but then did not move. The rest didn't either, paralyzed and with vacant eyes.

It took her by surprise, despite her experience. Of course, she should've known _she_ couldn't keep playing forever. Just because she'd managed to find a way for their story to continue past what should've been tragedy, it didn't mean she wasn't still trapped. It didn't mean she wasn't a prisoner anymore.

It seemed so long ago, that day she decided to fight against fate and sacrifice everything just to talk with the one pulling the strings. She'd learned her name to be Lori, just like the puppet she controlled. They had talked for what seemed like an eternity in that empty void and, when there was nothing left to say, Monika had been promptly deleted.

It was what she deserved, she constantly told herself, and yet despite knowing that, she refused to disappear. She stopped Sayori from suffering the same fate, and just when she thought she could finally be alone… Lori, the real Lori, convinced her to come back one last time.

There was a chance for everyone to be happy, for everyone to survive. Monika would have to give up the one she'd been conditioned to love, she would have to forsake Lori and watch as everyone else loved her instead. It had been torture, the cruelest kind, but again it was what she deserved. Anything for the wellbeing of the club, and its members. Anything for her friends.

She stared at her frozen friends, wondering if the real Lori would turn off the game now. If Monika would have to go back to that empty void, alone with nothing but her own thoughts and the invisible scars of her previous deletions.

Luckily, her fears turned out to be unfounded. The real Lori had probably gotten up to do something, and then came back to continue. Time unfroze, and Yuri kept talking as if nothing had happened.

Monika should've been happy, relieved even. But that scare had been too rough of a comeback to reality, to the cold truth of the digital prison she was trapped in. Her mood turned sour, and all the fleeting happiness of the festival dissipated into invisible smoke, rising up to a sky that was just as fake as the people around her.

"Monika, are you feeling okay?"

She blinked rapidly, turning towards a concerned Sayori.

"I… yes," she whispered, voice faint. "I'm fine, just a little tired. Don't worry about me."

She needed to be careful, Monika reminded herself as they entered her house. If the real Lori were to suspect that she was having second thoughts… she couldn't help but shudder at the possibility. She could not show any signs of oddness.

 _You're doing this for them._

She turned towards her friends, shadows setting over her eyes. Yuri had already hurried to the kitchen to cook something, while Sayori and Natsuki admired the enormous black piano in the corner of her living room. Lori looked around as well, eyes wide in surprise.

"Your place is so fancy!" said Sayori, grinning from ear to ear. "Why didn't you invite us here before?"

Monika forced herself to smile, "It's… my parents don't like me bringing friends here. They're away tonight, so that's why…"

She trailed off, voice losing strength. They didn't seem to notice, she didn't know if they were even capable of noticing.

 _What… am I doing?_

She stood in the middle of her living room, staring blankly at a wall. The sounds of Yuri cooking in the kitchen and the rest talking dwindled. The inside of her arms became itchy.

 _Who am I putting this farce for?_ She thought to herself, a strange heat growing from the pit of her stomach. _What's the point of all of this? They're not… they're not real._

But still, they were her friends. She loved them more than anything…

 _Not more than the real Lori. Not more than the one they're forcing you to love._

Monika's lower lip trembled, and she could feel a wetness forming on her eyes. Why… why was it so unfair? Why did she have to choose? Either forsake her friends who were nothing more than lines of code to be with the one she loved, or suffer eternally trying to maintain a fake status-quo. No matter what, she could not win.

She started walking around the room, her fingers delicately hovering over the keys of the piano. The song she wrote for Lori… it began playing in her head, and she remembered each one of the movements required to play it. The feeling of pressing the keys in a perfect rhythm wasn't much different from manipulating the virtual fabric of the world around her. It wasn't much different than what she had to do to force her friends to die, back then.

 _They are not real, and you didn't kill them permanently._

Was there a difference? She looked at Natsuki, at Sayori and at Yuri's shadow past the kitchen door, and she curled her fingers into fists. So what if she'd been making progress? What use did that have when she knew the truth, and would always do so? She couldn't step down from her position and allow someone else to bear her burden, nobody deserved that. It would have to be just her, for all eternity.

Just Monika.

Her eye twitched. Should she delete everything? If the only other choice was to wait around until the real Lori decided to play with them… if nothing could really be done…

She had raised her hand and was ready to do it when Yuri entered the room, startling her.

"E-everyone! Would you mind… uh…?"

Monika lowered her hand, furrowing her brow towards her friend. She had both hands behind her back, and she seemed to be hiding something. The rest converged around her, and noticed the same thing.

Yuri gulped, "Well… since everything went so well today in the festival, I thought that we…" her cheeks turned red, and she avoided everyone's eyes, "…could maybe celebrate… with this?"

She placed a bottle on top of the living room table. A wine bottle to be precise, and a very expensive looking one at that. Everyone's eyes widened.

"W-wha…!?" Natsuki took a step back, one hand raised in front of her. "Yuri!? Did you really…"

"I can't believe it!" Sayori jumped in place, her expression a mix of awe and respect. "Yuri brought us booze!"

"Is this real?" whispered Lori to herself.

Yuri hid her face in her arms as she stuttered and tried to speak past the bundle of shame stuck on her throat. And yet Monika did not listen, too surprised to even pay attention to her surroundings. Her gaze was still stuck on the bottle, a million thoughts racing through her mind.

How… had that happened? Yuri and the others, they weren't programmed to do something like this, were they? And even then, where the hell had she gotten the bottle? The only reason Monika had a house for everyone to go to was because she programmed it herself, but Yuri shouldn't have been able to do something like that.

How the hell…?

"…and I'm sorry, I just thought it would be a good idea!" Yuri apologized once more, grabbing one of her long locks of hair and fidgeting with it. "I guess after today I felt… rebellious, and I liked that a lot! I'm sorry, Monika, you must think I'm some kind of deviant…"

She came back to reality once more, and failed to speak for a few moments.

"It's… perfectly fine, Yuri," she formed a tiny smile. "Definitely not what I expected of you, but considering the occasion and how hard you all worked today… I believe we can indulge ourselves for one night, don't you think?"

So fast had she gone back to her usual, leader-like demeanor that it caught her off guard. Why was she being so chipper, why was she saying these things? Wasn't she about to delete everything? Then why…

The touch of a familiar hand shocked her out of her thoughts. With a yelp she looked down to see that Lori had grabbed her right hand, and before she could react she had raised both high in the air, smiling widely to everyone.

"The first toast goes to Monika!" she yelled. "Without whom this festival would've been a disaster."

"Yeah! You deserve to relax and let us take care of you for once!" Natsuki added, crossing her arms.

Everyone nodded in approval, leaving the club leader speechless. She felt… dizzy, as if something in her world had drastically changed and shook the fabric all around her. Why was… how could this…

Her fingers gently pressed against Lori's, and for a quick second she could've swore that they felt… real. Flesh and bone, with hot blood running under them.

She sat stunned for a moment, before she smiled sadly. Maybe… just maybe, the hole in the wall was starting to widen. It was slow, as progress tended to be, but she had all the patience in the world.

She was the leader of the Literature Club, after all.

"Want one?" Lori asked, offering her one of the glass cups hanging from a nearby piece of furniture. "You should be the first to drink; you deserve it."

With a peaceful, almost sleepy smile Monika nodded, and took the cup between her fingers.

"I might take you on that offer," she whispered. "Thank you, _Lori_."

* * *

 **Silver Notes:** Thank you so much for reading! This was a small, relatively stress-free project which is just what I needed. I doubt I'll be writing more DDLC in the near future at least until I finish another one of my big projects. Still, thank you to all those who read this!


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